There’s a term a lot of my clients use when they express frustration at their partner’s perceived overreactions to every little thing they do—they call it walking on eggshells. It can be a pain in the ass to feel like you have to watch everything you say, and makes many people wonder whether they even want to be in the …
Today I want to cover some of the most common and insidious myths about relationships that I’ve seen circulating—both in my relationship, from couples I work with and in the relationship culture at large. These myths, despite being so prevalent, are incredibly undermining and can wreak havoc on the viability of your long term relationship. The biggest way these myths …
The idea of treating your partner like a stranger might sound weird, but the reason I think it’s important is because after a while, we all have this tendency to actually become complacent with how we speak to our partners. I notice it daily with myself, I’ll say things that I wouldn’t say to a stranger or acquaintance, or be …
Most of the time, when I ask a couple what brings them into couples therapy, their response is they want to work on their communication. This makes sense because what is a relationship besides a system of communication? Whether it’s verbal or non-verbal, present or absent—it’s all communication. Even our mannerisms communicate a message to our partner, whether we intend …
Let’s address an age-old question that I’m frequently asked from clients: how do I get people to do what I want them to do? Whether it’s our child, our coworker, friends, or partners, it’s something we have to learn over the course of our lifetime. Now, some people don’t see it that way and choose not to—but it’s something that …
This subject will open some generalizations, as it’s difficult to avoid considering how many successful ways there are to parent. So please excuse any insidious, heteronormative generalizations that may creep into the discussion. My intent here is to open up a conversation around how to really hold the process of becoming a good partner to a mother. As a partner …
It often feels like there’s a discrepancy between freedom and security—especially regarding relationships. Oftentimes, I’ll find that my clients feel trapped in their monogamous relationship. They feel there is a societal culture that has made this decision of monogamy for them, and they wonder if they actually want to be on their own, to be more free and independent. Conversely, …
As more and more people get vaccinated and begin to feel safe seeing each other again, we are going to find ourselves navigating situations we haven’t had to deal with for a long time: seeing our extended families. Some of you have probably experienced some relief in this regard over the last few months, having not encountered as many complicated …
It’s a common myth that if you’re in a healthy relationship, you should be having a lot of sex. The problem is, this expectation puts the cart before the horse. A healthy couple is a couple that listens to each other, is present with each other, and is committed to learning about what makes their partner feel secure. If sex …
How to grow up together. As someone who has been in a partnership for sixteen years and married for nearly ten, I know the struggles of a long term relationship. When you’re with someone for a long time, you begin to realize that the same things that brought you together won’t necessarily keep you together. This is why it’s important …
