The Relationship Between Criticism, Control, and Vulnerability

Ryan Ginn Relationships

There’s an ongoing dynamic in my marriage where I have a need for things to be orderly around the house. While my wife isn’t necessarily messy, she has different priorities when it comes to being clean. Whenever the house environment feels too chaotic and disorderly for me, a judgemental part of me takes over and starts to control her through …

Is Your Relationship Fair?

Ryan Ginn Relationships

Fairness might be more important than love. A good relationship is dependent on experiencing a sense of fairness—that what you’re putting in the other is matching, roughly speaking. When the relationship is fair we feel settled in the knowing that there is a shared commitment to fostering each other’s safety, development, and expression.  As social animals it is reflexive for …

Taking Ownership of Your Pain

Ryan Ginn Relationships

“Relationship is a dance between tending to your own pain and inviting the other inside to tend with you.” — Ryan Ginn It’s very human to want to bypass, avoid and postpone confronting our own inner pain, unaddressed disappointments and grief.  When we get into a relationship, it’s easy to project all that pain onto our partner and expect them …

Why Communication is Hard & Practices to Make it easier.

Ryan Ginn Relationships

Communication is an inherently flawed process. When two human organisms get together, what unfolds between them is a complex web of verbal and non-verbal communication cues that can leave even the most advanced communication practitioner dumbfounded. Once those cues are sent, each person then interprets them and draws conclusions based on their own history and experience—sometimes concluding the exact opposite …

The 5 Most Common Communication Mistakes

Ryan Ginn Relationships

When people come to see me for help in their relationship, they often say their major struggle is around communication. This makes sense because the truth is, communication is hard for everybody—no one is born with perfect communication skills. Unless a couple actively works on it, it’s probably going to be a shit show, and what’s at stake in the …

Coupling Is A Bitch; You’re Not Alone

Ryan Ginn Relationships

You could say that couples are the foundation of our society. When couples are functioning well with one another, everyone around them is more at ease and more optimistic about life in general. But when they’re dysfunctional it can be a horror show. It may even become traumatizing or re-traumatizing for everyone involved.    The fact is, most of us are …