Most of our partners have behaviors we struggle with. If you occasionally find your partner annoying, don’t worry – you’re human. But sometimes, these issues escalate. We feel really helpless and angry and resentful with the other person. We might even begin to question the relationship entirely. Generally, this is around the time that we cart ourselves off to couples …
I often get asked: “How do I prevent myself from taking on my partner’s feelings? And how do I make sure they’re not taking on mine?” This is a really important question. It gets to the heart of what relationships are all about…and what we should avoid in order to make sure we achieve balance with the other person. The …
Do your conflicts turn into fights? It’s time for you and your partner to start using a technique that I like to call “Talk to the Face.” Picture this. You’re frustrated because your partner is not getting it. And by “it”, I mean your perspective. Are they even listening? Why isn’t this getting through their head? Don’t they care about …
Giving your partner feedback about certain behaviors can be a difficult conversation to navigate. It’s hard to bring up negative things about another person without them becoming defensive and shutting down, especially when that person is the other half of your primary relationship. The problem primarily stems from an inability to see feedback from our partner as anything other than …
The idea of treating your partner like a stranger might sound weird, but the reason I think it’s important is because after a while, we all have this tendency to actually become complacent with how we speak to our partners. I notice it daily with myself, I’ll say things that I wouldn’t say to a stranger or acquaintance, or be …
Agreements are definitely not the sexiest of topics, but they do build a sense of trust and relaxation in a relationship, all of which are prerequisites to a great sex life. They are incredibly important for a host of different reasons and form the backbone of any solid relationship. My wife and I have our agreements posted up in our …
Fairness might be more important than love. A good relationship is dependent on experiencing a sense of fairness—that what you’re putting in the other is matching, roughly speaking. When the relationship is fair we feel settled in the knowing that there is a shared commitment to fostering each other’s safety, development, and expression. As social animals it is reflexive for …
“Relationship is a dance between tending to your own pain and inviting the other inside to tend with you.” — Ryan Ginn It’s very human to want to bypass, avoid and postpone confronting our own inner pain, unaddressed disappointments and grief. When we get into a relationship, it’s easy to project all that pain onto our partner and expect them …
When people come to see me for help in their relationship, they often say their major struggle is around communication. This makes sense because the truth is, communication is hard for everybody—no one is born with perfect communication skills. Unless a couple actively works on it, it’s probably going to be a shit show, and what’s at stake in the …
