When you think of the word “Entitlement”, what comes to mind? It’s probably negative. You might think of it in a pejorative sense, like “that entitled jerk just walked in demanding a free refill on his coffee. We don’t do that here!” But I’m here to tell you that entitlement can be a good thing. And no matter what your …
Do your conflicts turn into fights? It’s time for you and your partner to start using a technique that I like to call “Talk to the Face.” Picture this. You’re frustrated because your partner is not getting it. And by “it”, I mean your perspective. Are they even listening? Why isn’t this getting through their head? Don’t they care about …
Being able to apologize effectively is an essential skill for both partners in any relationship. Unfortunately, in my line of work, I don’t see a lot of good apologies happening. It’s one of the topics I coach people most on, because there are a lot of bad habits that couples tend to fall into regarding attempted apologies. This can lead …
As we grow up, we automatically take up specific notions about what it looks like to raise a child. We get these ideas from our own childhood, from our experiences with our parents and caregivers. There’s no intellectual, one-size-fits-all solution for how to parent a child, and even if there was one, we wouldn’t likely agree with it. We have …
Today I want to cover some of the most common and insidious myths about relationships that I’ve seen circulating—both in my relationship, from couples I work with and in the relationship culture at large. These myths, despite being so prevalent, are incredibly undermining and can wreak havoc on the viability of your long term relationship. The biggest way these myths …
Agreements are definitely not the sexiest of topics, but they do build a sense of trust and relaxation in a relationship, all of which are prerequisites to a great sex life. They are incredibly important for a host of different reasons and form the backbone of any solid relationship. My wife and I have our agreements posted up in our …
Fairness might be more important than love. A good relationship is dependent on experiencing a sense of fairness—that what you’re putting in the other is matching, roughly speaking. When the relationship is fair we feel settled in the knowing that there is a shared commitment to fostering each other’s safety, development, and expression. As social animals it is reflexive for …
“Relationship is a dance between tending to your own pain and inviting the other inside to tend with you.” — Ryan Ginn It’s very human to want to bypass, avoid and postpone confronting our own inner pain, unaddressed disappointments and grief. When we get into a relationship, it’s easy to project all that pain onto our partner and expect them …
When people come to see me for help in their relationship, they often say their major struggle is around communication. This makes sense because the truth is, communication is hard for everybody—no one is born with perfect communication skills. Unless a couple actively works on it, it’s probably going to be a shit show, and what’s at stake in the …
In a modern day world with infinite possibilities, why did I choose to work with couples? It has a lot to do with…baseball. I’ve been interested in baseball for my entire life. As a young boy I had a great affinity for creating my own All-Star baseball teams. As a seven year old, I would grab the Sports Section and …
